Is my body perhaps getting used to the chemicals?

I think the side effects may be lessened this time. Yes I've had a few sicky waves which are nasty but I think fewer than last time. Food still tastes funny and sweet stuff just dreadful. I haven't dared try to drink anything cold yet to test how my throat will react as it isn't the best experience.

On return from the hospital I sat on the swing seat in the back garden enjoying the sun. My hands cramped up a few times and I got cramp in my toes but the tingly fingers are most definitely less apparent. I hope that continues.

I debated whether to stay in the garden or to indulge in TV antique programme porn. The latter won out and I watched Flog It followed by Bargain Hunt. I didn't go for Antiques Roadshow as I thought I might overdose. Instead I went for a liedown which is really unusual for me. I slept for about 15 minutes and found it difficult to get up but I forced myself as I'm sure wallowing in it really isn't good for me as I'm aware of the nausea. Distraction is by far the best strategy for me.

2nd treatment cycle

I'm sitting in the chemo suite having Oxaliplatin dripped into me. The bag on the drip stand has a big yellow sticker plastered on it which says "CYTOTOXIC DRUG". Google cytotoxic and it's no wonder that you feel like shit for a few days after it's been pumped into your system.

I'm typing this slowly with my left hand as they're using my right arm this time. When the nurse tried to put the line in she unfortunately hit a valve. Ouch! So she had to insert it a bit higher up. She also informed me that chemo damages the veins so they liked it when they got a good, fat healthy one as they can use it a few times before it becomes wrecked.

As I was one of the first in this morning I got my choice of seats and grabbed one next to the window. Here I can see the wind chasing little fluffy clouds (musical reference there folks) across the blue, blue sky. The wind is also playing with the leaves on a cherry tree outside and it's nice to feel a bit in touch with nature when something so unnatural is happening.

The ward is now full and just as I was about to whinge on this blog about the lack of the tea trolley it arrives, staffed by two volunteers. Bliss. A nice cuppa always lifts me and I also had a digestive biscuit to complete the experience.

The side effects have kicked in already and that bloody awful throat thing is evident. It can come on not only when you drink something cold but merely by breathing air which is slightly cold.  So sitting next to the window is somewhat hazardous but on balance I think the benefits outweigh the down side.

However this treatment cycle seems much quicker and I was able to leave after 3 hours, a bit woozy but generally okay.

Oncology appointment Monday 2nd June

I had my appointment with the Oncologist yesterday who noticed the cold sore under my nose. Well I'd be a bit concerned if he hadn't noticed it because it's a bloody big scabby thing. I told him I had been prone to them in the past but hadn't had one for about 10 years. He said it was because my immune system was compromised. He said he hoped it was a one off but if I got another he'd put me on anti viral drugs. He didn't want to do so if he could get away with it as I would have to take them for the whole of the chemo period.

So bugger me, what happens. I wake up this morning with a nascent cold sore on my lip. Arse. Straight down to Boots for their own brand of Zovirax cream. £3 cheaper than the proprietary brand. I hope I've managed to nip it in the bud but that's it, I'm going onto the anti virals as I cannot go though the next 6 months with scabs all over my boat.

On the plus side, my bloods were fine so I'm good to go for the next round of treatment starting on Thursday. I'm a bit anxious about it as the side effects weren't pleasant but you never know, this time they could be better, or they could be worse. I'll have to wait and see.

Whilst waiting for the result of my blood test yesterday (they take the blood and test it immediately so you get the results in half an hour) a colleague and his partner sat down opposite me. He had bowel cancer two years ago and had the same op and same chemo as me. However he reacted badly to it so had his regime changed after two treatments. He was back for the results of his latest six month scan and said that waiting for the scan results was worse than the chemo as his anxiety levels really build up. Anyway he emailed me yesterday saying the scan was clear and he didn't have to go back for another for 12 months. Great news.

27 May - behind with the posts already

I've not posted for a week as my side effects have largely settled down to tolerable levels. I'm still slightly nauseous but it's very mild and I'm managing okay with it. I feel a bit fatigued but nothing too debilitating and I managed to do a full week's work and three runs. The only thing of note being that I've developed a cold sore underneath my left nostril. I've not had a cold sore for years and whilst I did get them on my lips I also used to have them appear in my nostrils and under my nose. However I thought they were a thing of the past until this one appeared. It's obviously as a result of my lower resistance due to the drugs knocking out my white blood cells. The information sheets do warn you of this so it's not unusual.

My mouth is slightly sore but not enough to stop me eating or drinking and one thing that had just come on in the last few days is that my feet are itchy, particularly at night. Again, these are noted possible side effects and I wonder if my body is playing some kind of side effect bingo where it's seeing if it can tick the whole bloody lot off. Still I haven't had the runs or been violently sick so I still feel pretty grateful for minor irritants.

After I take my last three Capetacine this evening that will be me off the chemo for my one week break. I see the Oncologist again on the 2nd and begin my next cycle on the 5th. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it after my first batch of treatment. Yes I tolerated it but that first week wasn't pleasant. I certainly don't miss the horrible sick wave, tingling fingers and perhaps the worst thing, the strange throat sensation. On the other hand I did manage it. It will be interesting to see whether my body and my mind cope better having been through it once and knowing that the worst symptoms do pass and that after a time I can feel almost normal. As I've already said, I intend to keep things like my work and running going for as long as I can.

Almost normal

I'm pleased that since yesterday, the really bad nausea has lifted and I haven't needed the anti emetics. There is a vague feeling of sickness but it's low level and I'm well able to cope with it. My tastebuds have returned to normal and hurrah.....I can eat cake again. Joy, joy.

The nerves in my throat have settled down too so I have been able to drink normally. More joy.

I did feel a bit of fatigue mid afternoon today but that passed and I was able to do a full group run at the club tonight. Overall the best day since I started treatment and I have savoured it.  Knowing that I can have almost normal days makes the thought of the continuing treatment easier and hopefully will remind me that feeling like crap won't last for ever.  This too shall pass.

Improvement?

With the nausea continuing I did take two anti emetics yesterday morning but kept it to just the one at lunch and dinner. This kept the feeling of sickness dampened down but I was aware of it all day nonetheless.

Friends had invited us to dinner at theirs yesterday evening and I took along a carton of warm pressed apple juice to drink with the meal. The pudding was an iced meringue parfait which I decided not to attempt to eat (boo) but the rest was delicious and it was good to socialise.

Today I think the sickness has lessened and I'm back down to one anti emetic before meals. Or again, I may just have got used to it. The nerve reaction in my throat persists when I eat or drink cold (or even warm as opposed to hot) stuff but I think I'm feeling less bothered about it mainly because it has been such a warm day and I've needed to drink more. Boiling a kettle to make a warm squash when the temperature is 20 degrees just seems perverse.

I did a run today and whilst it was tough due to the heat I'm glad I made the effort. I did enjoy it too given how lovely the Skyline walk looked.

Magnum obsession

Woke up feeling very nauseous and getting going was difficult so I dug into my anti emetics. They took the edge off but I may have to double up the dose tomorrow as I have felt quite sick all day. However having the great news about Siobhan's engagement to Giles and it being such a lovely day stopped me feeling miserable.

I haven't been sick, which I think is a good sign and I think that things will settle down. Less of the finger thing going on but still a bit unpleasant to drink cold stuff. If I do it feels as if my throat is constricting which makes it difficult to swallow. So no cooling drinks for me today as I had to make do with warm squash and tea. I also rather fancied a Magnum or something similar but thought it wise not to go there, particularly as I'm still getting a nasty taste in my mouth when I eat anything sweet. Double trouble so probably best avoided but it is strange how one tends to obsess on forbidden fruit and one can feel a bit cheated.